Monday, September 14, 2009

Personal Statement


I think that the traits that sets me apart from the rest would be the braveness to take up new challenges and having a strong will to make things right. I believe I have demonstrated these traits in all the co-curricular activities which I have participated in since my secondary school days.

Being part of the track and field team in my secondary days has certainly helped to develop me into an individual who is mentally strong. I had physical training 3 times a week  and each session was equally physically draining. The only thing I had left to depend on was my mental strength. Based on my performance and good attitude at each training session, my trainer and my teacher-in-charge decided to choose me as a representative for my school in the National Schools Track & Field Championship. Looking back, I consider myself quite fortunate to be selected to represent my school in the National Schools Track & Field Championship as each competition serves as an excellent opportunity to put my mental strength to the test. As a javelin thrower, I had to face immense stress because all my competitors would be watching as I took my turn, alone. Therefore, after each competition, whether I managed to achieve a position into the Top 8 positions or not, I emerged as a stronger individual. This trait that I have developed over the period of 3 years has helped me accomplish much more as I move on to the next phase of my education.

When I went through an interview to be part of the Organizing Committee of Ethelontêr VI (freshmen orientation camp for NUS CSC) in the early part of this year, I was presented with the position of the Logistics Director. Being a female, I would definitely pale in comparison to a male in terms of physical strength. But I decided to take up the challenge anyway. Given only 2 hours of sleep on each day of the camp, I relied very heavily on my willpower to  co-ordinate the movement of logistics with all the people in-charge of the camp programmes as well as my logistics cell. This has definitely helped to make sure that everything goes according to plan and minimized the  possibility of disorganisation. Although the camp was extremely exhausting and physically demanding, I did not regret my decision in taking up that challenge. I had a great time and did a good job with my logistics cell. Recently, I decided to be brave and take up another challenge of being the Honorary Assistant Treasurer in the 8th Management Committee of NUS CSC. I believe that with what I have achieved and developed as an individual, coupled with my strong willpower, I would be able to fulfil my duties to the best of my ability.

Perhaps the most memorable point for me to take home from the camp besides the experience and fun was the fact that I was the first ever female logistics director in the 6 years of camp history, who didn’t even know how to drive a van! :D

P.S just in case you guys are wondering about the van part, most logistics directors should have the ability to drive a manual van to ferry logistics around. 

[EDITED: Thursday, September 17, 9:35PM]

6 comments:

  1. Hey sherlynn,
    So do you think that the mental strength that you have developed while you were in track helped you with pulling through with CSC camp?

    Great to hear this side of you after reading each other's resumes and application letter for 2 weeks!


    cheers

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  2. Hello Sherlynn,

    first, I think the picture is super cute :) haha and being a non-sporty person, I really admire your will-power and your strength.

    Next, I am impressed with your personal statement! I got to know more about you and the experience you listed were interesting. However, I am not sure if the tone for a personal statement needs to be formal. Other than that, your usage of language is good and persuasive.

    Regards,
    Michelle

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  3. Hi Sherlynn,

    Very nice to hear about your sports experience. Never thought I'd be hearing that from you. Like Mich, I am very impressed with that. Hehe. You just look too feminine so I can't imagine you do sports.

    Okay, enough of sidetracks.

    I thought you described yourself very well. Using examples from your school days definitely did the trick because then we know that it has always been in you. I guess having strong will power and the bravery to take up challenges are definitely assets you can use to impress the reader.

    Oh, I also thought you had a very honest tone in your writing.

    :)

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  4. [to feodor]: yes definitely! As the camp went on to the 3rd and 4th day I was already running on mental strength to get my physical strength going. So, yupp, I couldn't have pulled through the camp without it. I believe this applies to studies as well, when we're reaching our thresholds, I believe it's the level of mental strength that sets individuals apart from one another (: Cheers!

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  5. You're going in the right direction with this, but you need more detail, especially in the sports section.

    Also, I think you need more cohesive devices. For example, reiterate the traits you want to highlight.

    Then there are the language issues:

    1) The tone in the first paragraph should not be so "informal," meaning avoid putting into words your difficulty with the task. Just get on with it.

    2) groomed me into an individual > helped me develop into an individual who...

    3) .... physically draining and the only thing.... > Separate into two sentences.

    4) I was fortunate to be selected to represent my school in the National Schools Track & Field Championship as each competition serves as an excellent opportunity to put my mental strength to the test. >>> Why were you selected? Elaborate.

    5) to get things done > what?

    5) But I’ve decided >>> tense?

    Thanks for your hard work!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Brad,

    Thanks for your comments, I've since edited my post according to them. Please do correct me further if there are anymore mistakes!

    ReplyDelete